Benita Rainer

Perhaps it was the fact that my lovely adoptive mother wanted to maintain the illusion that I was her natural child- a common event in adoption- or simply the fact that society was ready to judge the adopted person; they might have come from an unacceptable source. It may also have been that it was all too hard for her to cope with the questions I had to ask regarding my adoption. Whatever the reason, it was impossible for me to raise the subject of what it meant to be adopted, of who I was, and of why I grieved for something or someone I did not know. Perhaps the grief had nothing to do with the fact I was adopted. It is all unknown, as the subject was never discussed. I now ask, though, that adopted, in vitro children, and those conceived from a donor egg, be given all of the information available as to their origins: photographs of their natural family, place names of domiciles, renowned or talented ancestors, and anything more that they may one day want to know about. For this would all be a balm for the child that had the knowledge of his birthright removed unnaturally.

Author's Books

Life Poetry of an Adopted Baby

Benita Rainer was adopted as a newborn baby. She became a teacher and is a musician, poet, and writer. Despite having wonderful adoptive parents, the effects of not knowing who she was in terms of her natural and genetic heritage had profound lifelong effects on her. At the age of 23, and at a time ...

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