Contrary to what those in the profession can easily start to believe, life does exist beyond the classroom; not only before, but during – and after – a career in Education. In this brand-new collection, writer Guy Newmountain, author of “Please I Can To The Toilet Go?” (The Memoirs Of A Supply Teacher), presents a multi-faceted assemblage of hilarious true stories focusing on the more humorous aspects of everyday life.The book is illustrated throughout by the author himself, who readily accepts his own quirky eccentricity in observations stretching from earliest childhood through the most puerile teenage practical jokes to his working years in a score of different vocations. Within these pages can be found a refreshingly broad range of anecdotes; all demonstrating vividly how life, with its many career changes, hair-raising predicaments and extraordinary experiences can be the longest, most unpredictable of tapestries. You really couldn’t make it up!

Guy Newmountain, aptly described by a former college tutor as a ‘funnyology’, is a man who steadfastly resists categorisation. Artist, illustrator, animator and occasional DJ, he is, most notably, a teacher who has worked in over 100 different schools across the entire age range; with a breadth of experience rare in the profession. A guilty cola drinker with a fascination for contemporary fonts, TV title sequences, pioneering music videos and retro sci-fi, he swims a mile each weekday, grapples with a life-size Dalek and Wurlitzer jukebox and is rarely seen far from a black Labrador Retriever.

Customer Reviews

5.0

5 reviews

Valerie simanowitz

This collection of closely-observed and humorous anecdotes follows Guy Newmountain's idiosyncratic book on supply teaching in over 100 Leicester schools. Each chapter is headed by one of Guy's original graphic illustrations and describes his trajectory from his early extremely jealous rivalry with a baby brother born less than a year after him to his present single but fulfilling existence following his passions for pop music. Dr. Who, fish and chips and his spirited black Labrador, Budulinek. Now in his late fifties, much of his energy is spent on an annual Rotary Swimmarathon in Leicester, where his group have raised £1000s for charities. Guy is a perfectionist who engages with a passion into the areas which interest him. He is extremely independent, his own man, uninfluenced by fashions, trends or the opinions of the more conventional. In spite of his mother's view that attendance at Art school would not enable him to”earn a living,” he chose to develop his talented artistic abilities by enrolling at Art College to do Graphic Design. Over the course of his life, Guy has worked in a dizzyingly varied and numerous selection of part-time jobs but he has gained some learning from each; a contrast to his own background. He has been a Chinese takeaway deliverer , a factory worker, a kitchen washer-upper and a Post Office van driver amongst others. He has gained insight and understanding of hitherto undiscovered worlds, acutely aware of the exploitative nature of many of them. One extremely well-written anecdote describes how he was lured by a promise of real graphic design work (at last) by an attractive young woman ( a honey-trap!) into a print works where he remained unpaid for 6 weeks and how he eventually won his due wages. He found out many others had not been so lucky! .He reflects that his passion and commitment to listening to and playing a range of pop music often masks an inner lack of confidence; recalling his joy in DJ ing although not a dancer himself. However he now has his own programme on Leicester Community Radio. There is a section on Pranks, some of which are extremely humorous e.g. when he pretends he has a weight gain disorder and spooks a visiting cousin. He has also experienced terrifying adventures, some in the USA; including a a chilling encounter with a rattlesnake at night. This extremely unusual series of anecdotes gives an insight into the eccentric and surprising life of an artist rooted in the culture of his hometown Leicester.
Archie

Amusing and well worth reading. Would also make a great gift.
S Mistry

I enjoyed reading this book as it is so different to any other book I have read so far. What an extraordinary life the author has had from young age till now. The author, Guy Newmountain reveals lots of funny tales in his life. Some of the tales reminded me of Frank Spencer in Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em. The book revealed a philosophical message to me, "it doesn't matter how much you have ... enjoy the little you have and be happy"
Fima Ephron

Amazing tales from a life filled with workplace adventures.
Kate S

I really enjoyed reading this quirky selection of short stories & anecdotes. An easy & entertaining read that takes you down memory lane at times & at others down surprising twists & turns!