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Pluto's in Uranus!-bookcover

By: Patrick Haylock

Pluto's in Uranus!

Pages: 204 Ratings: 5.0
Book Format: Choose an option

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Dave suffers from OCF – Obsessive Compulsive Fatalism.
Every day he is compelled to follow his online horoscope, and to actively seek out and participate in their prophesies.
One fated day, the signs are so compelling they embolden him to take a high stakes horse racing gamble.
The consequence of his wager will lead Dave into situations way beyond his control and comfort zone, and his path will be crossed by an intriguing hotchpotch of larger-than-life characters.
This eccentric bunch of strangers include a Benny Hill loving vicar, a transvestite, a hippy, a diamond thief, a sausage roll addicted Bank manager, an underworld female mechanic, an ’ungry man, some piranha fish, a chimpanzee and many others.
Pluto’s in Uranus! is the story of a ‘tryer’ whose lucky omens will come back to taunt him.

Patrick Haylock is a globally unrecognised writer who, if you discount a school sweet pea growing competition, has won no awards whatsoever!
He was born in Enfield at a very dark time in the world.
It was 1:45 am, to be precise, and it wasn’t too long before it dawned on him.
To make something of himself he was going to need two things – the ability to tell the difference between a green onion and a scallion, and a good education.
Wormley Primary and Baas Hill Comprehensive schools did their best to fulfil both requirements, and after giving them 12 years of his life, they gave him seven printed sheets
of paper, and the knowledge that there was no difference between a green onion and a scallion.
He also learned that the difference between onions and bagpipes was that no one ever cries when you chop up bagpipes.
The certificated wisdom secured a national newspaper messengers’ job, which led to an editorial trainee position, followed by a production editors post, and progression into
freelance journalism.
‘Knowing his onions’ helped him to successfully establish his own publishing company, design studio, online retro webstore and high street art gallery.
Patrick lives with his wife in a converted Old Essex Brewery, where he claims a 6% ABV air quality inspired him to craft this nutty tale.
Although a ‘new voice’, in the literary world, those ‘in the know’ will willingly testify that his gift for imaginative storytelling is engaging, and, amusingly unique!

Follow Patrick’s alter ego on twitter [email protected]

Customer Reviews
3 reviews
3 reviews
  • Baz (ex Thaxted)

    Super read, imaginative story lines and plenty of laughs.

  • Bill Bowman

    “Pluto’s in Uranus by Patrick Haylock. A really brilliant and funny 1st novel by this very talented writer. Well worth a read . You will have trouble putting it down until finished. I went back to previously read chapters to re-live the laughter and smiles.

  • Daniel N Wood

    This book cracked me up, it’s absolutely 100% hilarious! Having read the other reviews, I decided to buy a copy to judge it for myself. I won’t lie, the reviews are all spot on.
    This tale is genuinely hysterically funny, and it should be compelled to carry a laugh out loud warning on the front cover. It is a fast-paced easy read. The story is cleverly constructed and one I that I can promise will entertain from the very first word to the last. It was indeed Kushti Bok that I took the gamble (sorry Dave) and bought a copy. If you enjoy laughter, I suggest you do the same.

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