This Is Qatar: Anecdotes from an Amateur Expat

Ever wonder what it’s like to live in Qatar? Well M hadn’t. He couldn’t have even found it on a map... then found himself there.

When M arrived in Qatar from London on his newly-minted expat assignment, he didn’t expect to be confronted with life’s most existential choices...so immediately.

And he dragged his girlfriend-cum-wife too.

“But I wanted to go to Singapore,” she said.

“We got at least half-way there!”

From job offer, to eloping in Las Vegas (because living together out of wedlock is haram), to having a kid - and back again, “TIQ” is a humorous, if not slightly exaggerated, acerbic account of an amateur expat’s trials and tribulations waaaay out of his depth in a country, frankly, he had never heard of.

If you’re about to move to Qatar, or if you ever thought you wanted to visit (you KNOW you want to), TIQ will help you frame (and perhaps even answer) some non-trivial questions such as:

- What would you choose with your marginal dollar - beer, or bacon?

- Is it OK to eat your lunch on the toilet?

- Who’s that scary voice on the radio every morning? and

- Are traffic signs really just...guidelines?

If you weren’t planning on moving to Qatar, or even visiting - the shock, laughs and jaw-droppingly ridiculous happenstances might just even move the needle (albeit slightly).

Way back when M got his Hebrew tattoo, his mom, like any good Jewish-American, said, “Well, now you’ll never be able to go to the Middle East.”

M just scoffed and said, “Middle East? Me? Never.”

Who’s laughing now?

(And by the way: the answer is definitely never bacon.)

M. Star is an ex-consultant who works in the energy industry *yawn* but secretly has always wanted to be a ‘creative’. Living in London with his Finnish wife and three beautiful children, M had always yearned to do something a bit different.

An engineer by background, but never practised; classically trained cellist, who rarely performs; accomplished songwriter, to a limited audience and a struggling triathlete, sometimes finishing races; after years of trying, M finally wanted to finish something and to share his account of his incredible Qatari journey.

Previous works include—well, almost nothing. He did self-publish a book of poetry and songs in 2016, grandiosely called Thoughts from an Age: From Adolescence to Adulthood. If you’re smart, you can read it for free on Kindle. If you’re smarter, you’ll skip it.