Driven by Demons: Bipolar Olympian

This is the remarkable story of a young man battling intense mood swings, who turns to physical risk and his exceptional talent for rowing and sculling to keep depression at bay. For years, he struggles without understanding the true nature of his condition.

His journey is at times amusing, at times desperate, but always deeply human. As he carves out a name for himself in the world of amateur rowing, his unpredictable and often outrageous behavior unsettles his crewmates. Yet, despite the chaos, he achieves extraordinary triumphs – competing in five World Rowing Championships, two Olympic Games, and winning seven Henley Regatta titles, including the prestigious Diamond Sculls.

But the same challenges that once saved him eventually lead to his downfall. When he reaches his lowest point, feeling as though he has lost everything, his long search for stability truly begins.

“We thought he felt no pain.”

Hugh Matheson

Tim’s younger brother, on reading a draft:

“What is it, a confession or an excuse?”

Tim Crooks was brought up in Surrey vicarages and educated in independent schools. He excelled at rowing and sculling on the Thames, served an apprenticeship with BSA Motorcycles, raced motocross bikes and, as a member of the GB rowing team for eight years, earned a string of medals, including an Olympic Silver. Tim has worked primarily as an engineer and teacher, and also as an artist blacksmith and landscaper. He is married with children and grandchildren.
When he was a teenager, his emotions – especially anger and depression – puzzled him. Years later, he was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and the broad knowledge of the disorder now qualifies him to write about the illness, his life, and his sport.

Customer Reviews

4.9

7 reviews

v de boer

This is a book for everyone and to be recommended. A good read, with humour and a worrying level of mental angst without knowing why. The book covers Tim's early years at private school, motorbikes and Motorcross. Then engineering and, of course, the rowing, with for him great highs and desperate lows, including competing in the 1972 and 1976 Olympics. He bears his soul and it's frankly compelling.
P-Johnny

In-depth look at a man who doesn’t know what’s happening to him but only knows what’s best and that’s to keep busy.. but the busy he’s doing is HUGE, an international sportsman and high level athlete at a time where there was little to no support for mental health. A truly compelling and informative read.
David Reynolds

Excellent book by a dyamic and very thoughtful man – and a top, much revered British oarsman. In his introduction Sir Steve Redgrave describes Crooks as his hero. The book isn't all about rowing, though Crooks's descriptions of races, including epic efforts at the Olympics and sculling against Sir Steve Redgrave, are extremely vivid and exciting. The book is as much about his mental health difficulties, which began when he was a child. He describes this vividly as well - and with insight gained by hindsight. Crooks fights depression by going to extremes, pushing himself at riding motorbikes, playing the trombone and rowing. He does many things with a crazy intensity – including dealing with the police when his car is towed away. Eventually, aged 44, he is diagnosed as bipolar. This prompts much enlightening reflection. Overall, a great account of a difficult life well-lived. 2 people found this helpful
Peter Banner

I have had many adventures with Tim in later life and have come to know him well. I couldn’t put the book down. It’s brutally honest, intensely moving but also very funny. The technical rowing descriptions are aimed at the interested non specialist, but you feel you are in the boat with him and share his exhilaration and pain and you come to understand some of his incredible drive and inner turmoil. His bipolar condition is sensitively explored as he comes to understand what is happening to him. I can attest to the man’s character. If there is a mission and a straightforward way of accomplishing it or a convoluted, rude and dangerous alternative, Tim will invariably choose the latter! The world is a better place for having Tim in it. Do buy his book. You won’t regret it.
Jonnyred

A very interesting read. A knowledge of rowing is clearly an advantage but not entirely necessary. An elite sportsmen’s “awakening” of a relatively if not entirely, unheard of condition back in the 60’s and 70’s.
I. Assersohn

A deeply honest and very moving account of a fascinating and turbulent life filled with sporting success and mental anguish
geoff giltrap

Good read well written with good photos