Wendell R. Snark

The publisher told you that Wendell Roland Snark was a pseudonym. That is a lie. Wendell was born to Roland and Merry Snark in Pathway New Zealand in 1935. He has a twin sister, Wendella Merry Snark. She was a famous erotic dancer until arthritis of the colon ended her career. Merry Snark has knitted thousands of tea cosies. She was knitting a tea cosy when she died. Merry fainted and fell on her knitting needle and bled to death on their front porch. Roland ran a chicken farm his whole life. He hated sheep. Roland chocked to death on an organic chicken bone. Wendell never married, but fathered three illegitimate children named: How, What, and Why. Naturally, he became a successful head librarian in Pathway. His lifelong companion was transgender. She even hiked in high heels. Even though Wendell is afraid of water, as a child he nearly drowned in a puddle, he has published a series of successful submarine novels. The latest titled Dry Doc. The physician on board struggles to remain sober. Wendell drinks only the local beer. His urine smells of sweet hops.